The Place

Well as predicted, everything has completely fallen apart in my relationship. We are a step away from the break-up, I can smell it. It all depends on our conversation tomorrow and if it goes like I fear it might go, he will have given me no chance but to say goodbye.
I'm just so damn tired. Mentally, emotionally, physically exhausted. Its going to be a very long time until I date again. A very long time. It really could be years. I just can't trust anyone. I can't trust myself. I find someone I think is good for me, I start to fall in love with him and then WHAM!! He turns into someone else and completely blindsides me. I feel like I'm living in a fun house and as I turn each corner it just gets more and more warped and twisted until I'm dizzy and panicked, backed into a corner.

I was so depressed today after our huge blow-out last night, I laid in bed all day trying desperately to get some sleep to no avail. Luckily the promise of a much anticipated night with my two favorite girls on earth gave me courage and it was lovely, just as I thought it would be. You see? You can always count on your friends :) If it wasn't for them, I think I would lose faith in the whole world.

Sammy, you singing 'Papa was a Rolling Stone' put a big sincere smile on my face even though I'm sad.

I'm so so sad.