Oh today is a dark dark day. Rain clouds are gathering and I am in a foul foul mood my friends.
Its hard to find something positive to hold onto, even though I had a really lovely weekend. Everywhere I look I see problems and missed opportunities. Going away to somewhere do idyllic and pleasant just brings my actual day-to-day life into stark contrast.
I feel discouraged ALL the time. All the time. I don't really feel like getting out of the bed in the morning. I have nothing to do all day but domestic messes to be cleaned away, little insipid errands to be run, and then its back to my lonely dark apartment to waste time until I can reasonably go to bed, just to wake up again and repeat the same. Thank goodness I'm so broke, or I would just buy food and eat incessantly.
Guh and I know I've said this 10,000 times already on this blog, but especially these last few weeks, I feel like the more I put myself out there (which is REALLY hard for me p.s. because I have serious social anxiety issues) the more humiliating it is that I'm still getting nowhere.
I could really use a break, man. Seriously. Just like, a paying job would be really great.
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