I'm going to get a job tomorrow. I'm going out armed with resumes (real and embellished because apparently lying is the only way one finds a job in this town) and I will end with the promise of a paycheck. That's right!
I even cleaned my absolute disaster area of a room in preparation. This week will not be like every other week of my pathetic summer. Everything will be different!
At the very least, I will live my life as if I had a job. Eat regular meals, go to the gym (or AT LEAST do a pilates video or something, jesus), accomplish long-undone tasks in my life, do my laundry before it surrounds me in enormous piles, keep my apartment clean...you know, normal people stuff. Because feeling sorry for myself since I haven't been accomplishing anything except feeling sorry for myself, is probably at the root of this whole problem. You know like think positive thoughts and make positive choices and positive things will happen in your life. Or whatever. Listen, I haven't read The Secret but I'm not a complete fuckwit.
Anyway, so to kick-start this whole development (I'm REALLY desperately trying to stay hopeful, can you tell?) I will go to bed before 2am. And awake before 11. I know. Crazy talk. But I will do it, even if it kills me. I will begrudgingly wake up to my alarm at 10:30 tomorrow. And then you know what I'll do? I'll iron clothing for my fantastic job interviews which will go famously and everyone will be clamoring to hire me!! Go to the bank (v. depressing but as I'm actually making a deposit, I feel ok about it)! Maybe I'll do a good deed! Go for a brisk walk! I don't know, anything's possible!!
Yess!! This will be the day! Hoorah!
Plus then I will have something to tell people when I see them on wednesday and they ask, "so what are you up to?" Ah, it'll be grand. I can hear those awkward conversations dissipating into the past as I type these words.
Oh shit its 12:53 already. Christ, well I better get sleepy very soon. Maybe I'll have a glass of wine. No no no, alcohol should be kept to a minimum in new fantastic peace-bringing lifestyle.
I'll just eat something starchy.
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