Monday, December 25, 2006

It's a Morris Holiday

my mom and I managed to pull the decorations together at saaaaaay 3am christmas morning.

nice.

turns out my dad isn't spending christmas with my sister and daemon, as I had hoped. My mom and I don't know where he's going. Maybe he'll sleep all day long, like he did today.

My mom and I opened a bottle of wine with dinner. She had two glasses. I had the rest of the bottle. And then I had to shut myself in the bathroom to have a little cry.

I just wish something was going right right now. I'm so tired of being dissapointed.

To top it all off, I don't think my thesis is going to work. And I still haven't turned in a proposal and I still don't have an advisor.

And I'm still wavering between overcompensating and being totally fine about Hervé and being completely miserable and sad and swearing off men forever like I did sophomore year. Maybe I'll write another manifesto. God knows I need to feel something empowering.

Ironic to be plunged in this dilemma on Christmas, considering its supposed to be the birthday of the man who saved me from eternal damnation. Right now, I pretty much feel I'm headed in that exact direction.

And of course by eternal damnation I'm talking about living with my mother and drinking a bottle of wine by myself every night, watching bad romantic comedies on the Oxygen channel - for all eternity.

God, Christmas is depressing.

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