Brrrrrrr!!

Its cold in here!
How did the temperature fall from a daily high of 68 to a daily high of freezing fucking cold in two days? Its winter, legitimately, its freaking me out. I'm not ready for that bone-chilling new-england cold. I'm not ready yet!! Nooooo!

What an exhausting week. Had two term papers to complete, one due on tuesday and one due on wednesday. I tried to pull two all nighters in a row, but seeing as how I have enough trouble pulling a single, a double was absolutely impossible. I managed to sleep a couple of hours both nights. Still not enough. And then I headed into the end of my week with no energy at all. I got my pay check (YES!!!!!!!!!) at Cohn Dutcher, that was exciting. I'm not gonna say I had a great time, but considering the work, I don't think it could possible have been any better. It was nice to be around fun people with real lives that aren't caught up in fordham-theatre-social bullshit. Let's all breath a collective sigh of relief at that one.

Subsequently, I have been shopping online trying to decide on what nice thing to buy myself as a splurge. We all need to endulge ourselves sometime! I haven't decided yet...a really fun pair of boots or pretty underthings...hmmmmm. Hard decision. I think I'm just gonna ask for that for christmas. This year I'm not letting my mom buy me a million little things. I'm just gonna ask for the unabridged diaries of Anaïs Nin and these boots that I want, and that's all. Seriously, she gives me enough.

My dad is narrowing down his job choices. Praise the lord he's had plenty of offers. One job pays very well but it would require him traveling quite a bit, so its just like the job he just had. Only you know, the people at the company aren't completely incompetent (hopefully). The other one is working as an office manager and salesman at a firm in my hometown, so he would be home every single night. Which is WEIRD for him. I realize that's normal for everyone else, but for the last 30 years he has been traveling all the time for work and pretty much only home on the weekends. I'm not sure he really realized what that's gonna be like, to be home every night. He says he feels like he "owes it to mom" but really, I feel like that could make them fight even more. Because even seeing eachother only on the weekends is causing problems, I mean clearly, there is a lot of shit to work on he is not facing. I'm not sure having to face that you're not facing it more would be a good thing or a bad thing.
Ultimately my mom and I both told him we want him to make the decision for himself and whatever he chooses will be fine. My mom will probably have to go back to work if he takes the non-traveling job. That would be weird, but who knows, maybe it would be good for her.

God my room is freezing!! Fordham hasn't agreed to turn on the heat yet. Because they are giant assholes. Its SO COLD in my room, last night I was shivering and my teeth were chattering, it was awful. I can't wait to move out of this ridiculous building, which if I don't make RA, I will get to do this spring!! Scary but exciting...if I only had money to get a nice apartment.

I haven't heard from Hervé in over a week :( I miss him, I worry about him too much. I know its crazy but I keep imagining him meeting someone else and never speaking to me again. God that would be awful. Cherie, si tu es en train de lire cela, m'écris un email, j'ai trop hâte d'avoir tes nouvelles!

Busybody rehearsals have started as well, we had our read-through which was ummmmmmmm ok. We've been doing lots of clown exercises which have been great, and I really hope people bring that to their work. This play will just be a disaster if we let it be boring. Well I shouldn't say we, I have nothing to worry about at all, my character waltzes on in a low-cut dress, jiggles around being slutty for ten minutes and then dissapears. Done and done. I'm excited. But I would hate for the play to fail, that's never fun.

I like the director a lot, she's also our theatre history teacher. She's cooky but really smart and I think she's got a sharp eye for what she wants, she's really cracking down on people. I just hope she gets results, some people are working on some major changes.

I've been a complete Hermit lately, I don't go out. I pretty much crash when I get home, or I sit up talking to Morgan.
I'm feeling those familiar lonely feelings, I don't know why they descend on me but they do. I just extract myself from the real present relationships in my life. Maybe its a defense mechanism. I'm also super uncomfortable with my laziness lately I need to hit the gym people!

OH and on an incredibly angering note: turns out my insurance doesn't pay for ANY kind of birth control except TUBAL LIGATION. That means getting your TUBES TIED. Can you believe that?! How fucking neo-christian right-wing patriarchal bullshit is that?! EVERYONE's fucking insurance covers birth control!! So I'm basically fucked because my birth control is on the pricey side because its a new special kind (Mara, you know what I'm talking about) so its like 50 bucks. I can't afford that every month, please. I may end up having to go on a different method that's cheaper. Its fucked. I hate men.
Its all so ridiculous because if I actually got pregnant, my medical bills for all the pre-natal check-ups and ultrasounds and shit would be so much. It doesn't even make fiscal sense for the insurance company not to pay birth control! A pox on them, I say.