Short lil' somethin

Sooooooooooooooo summer?

the weather has been insanely beautiful. I spent this whole "weekend" (thursday and friday but hey close enough, right?) hanging out with my new favorite person and feeling summery and great, if a little sweaty. But that can be hot, right?

errrr yeah.

It so funny to see what time does to the way you look at the world (and yourself in it I suppose). You feel as if everything has changed and yet nothing has changed at the same time. I feel afraid and fearless. You know? I guess that's just crazy talk. Its fun to be in love in the summertime, especially with someone who you can really let your freak flag fly with. That's great, there should be more people like that.

What? No i didn't just say that.

ANYWAY. Back to work tomorrow at DAWN (god still hates me). Not another week! And I've had to go off my medication because of some random recent health issues. That's a whole 'nother story though.

My body is going CRAZY. My resting heart rate is apparently 125 bpm. This has my doctors worried, although I feel totally cool and normal. Just as a precaution they have me going off of my medication for a week to see if that effects my heart function or not. I almost hope it isn't that because facing the ordeal of sorting out new dosage on a new medication makes me want to give up on medication completely - which is a shame because some of it can be really helpful. And I refuse to let people throw any of that "you shouldn't have to take medication, you're polluting your body" bullshit on me, because I have a fucking deficiency you assholes and I don't like being moody and neither would you. Fuckers. I hate being judged.

ok debra, positive affirmations: if i judge no one, no one judges me and all is love, all is love, all is love...

(I'm trying)

omg i have got to sleep, tomorrow starts in only 6 hours!