Losing Track of Time

So somehow between graduation and today, my entire life is a completely different entity.

I have two restaurant jobs and an apartment and relationship, and I do things like spend weekends in connecticut. Do they let people my age do things like this?

And I DON'T go to school for the first time I can remember. Which is totally weird and yet totally anticlimactic. I didn't even realize I was approaching a major life-change until my boyfriend ordered a pumpkin spice late at Starbucks and I said, "wait, aren't those seasonal?" and then realized by the look on his face that it was in fact fall already, and I was totally warped by my habit of working full time during the summer months between terms. It hasn't set in yet, I just feel like its a really long summer or something. I'm sure once it gets cold and windy and I'm schlepping it to work, I'll wish I had a warm classroom to curl up in.

I don't miss the stress though, that's for sure.


Of course when one stressor disappears, another promptly presents itself to take its place. My relationship is a total confusing mess, my job situation is in flux (although at least I'm not unemployed), my financial situation is looking perpetually paycheck to paycheck, and my career is non-existent. And my mother is talking about a visit. And my room is a mess. And I need to have clothes taken in. And I'm broke. And I should really start going to the gym again.

Blah Blah Blah.


Mostly my relationship is the big question. I just never seem to know when to cut and run and now I've gotten all into it again. I go back and forth and back and forth so violently that I'm getting exhausted just thinking about it.

The point is, I should be back in therapy.



The end.